As someone who owns an LP of the commentaries on Red Rum’s five Grand Nationals, I don’t believe there’s anything strange about re-living races long after The Racing Post’s reports (or even The Sporting Life’s reports) have become chip paper.
Which means, now that the Pavilion Cinema in Galashiels is open again, I’m totally up for watching Dream Horse – the equine biopic telling the story of the Philip Hobbs trained Dream Alliance, who was bred from a £300 mare and reared on an allotment before going on to win the Welsh National for his syndicate of owners led by supermarket cashier worker Jan Vokes (played by Toni Collete).
It’s one of those rags-to-riches stories that jump racing tends to throw up more frequently than flat racing, although an unlikely reference in the script to Sheikh Mohammed purchasing a previous Welsh National winner for $16 million appears to confuse the two codes. Sometimes though, like when Captain Marvel flies her ordinary military plane into outer space, it’s best to suspend belief on purchasing the popcorn, sit back, and enjoy the show.
My television set is almost permanently tuned in to Racing TV, so it’s been a while since I watched a decent film. When they eventually get around to augmenting their excellent live-streaming service with a few feature films, here’s a list of twenty racing themed movies that I’m looking forward to watching:
Frozen: Follows a racecourse management team as they attempt to stage racing at Kelso during March 2018.
Fifty Shades Of Grey: The Desert Orchid story.
Scream: All about that fairground ride at Cartmel races – you know, the one where racegoers are locked in a cage which spins around so fast that the people get stuck to sides by centrifugal force before it turns through 90 degrees.
Scream 2: All about the Waltzer at the Cartmel races fairground – that one where the cars go round and round and up and down, while the whole ride turns the other way – round and round and up and down.
Sick Girl: A young racegoer’s experiences at the Cartmel races fairground.
The Wizard of Oz: The Phar Lap story.
Phar Lap: All about the back-straight of Kelso’s steeplechase course. That bit over on the phar side…
Gone With The Wind: Follows a racecourse management team as they attempt to stage racing at Kelso during September 2019.
Some Like It Hot: Analysis of Royal Ascot on Tuesday.
Singin’ In The Rain: Analysis of Royal Ascot on Friday.
Little Women: All about female jockeys.
Wonder Woman: Rachael Blackmore biopic.
The Other Woman: Bryony Frost biopic.
What Women Want: The struggle for better Weighing Room facilities.
Pretty Woman: Could be about any female member of the Kelso team, take your pick – I’m not digging this hole any deeper…
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly: about the Kelso groundstaff lads. Who’s who? That’s up to you, I’m not digging this hole any deeper…
A Man For All Seasons: about the Clerk of the Course at Perth, who also works the winter at Kelso.
Vertigo: The life of a racecourse commentator.
Frozen 2: Follows a racecourse management team as they attempt to stage racing at Kelso during January 2020.
A Fistful of Dollars: What we’re planning to put on Pammi, this week’s selection at Perth on Saturday