Years of careful vigilance and strict pest control have kept the track at Kelso Racecourse free from haggis, although they are easy enough to find pretty much everywhere else at this time of year…

I looked into the beautiful dark eyes of the racehorse owners standing in the parade ring and I knew that I’d got it badly wrong. It wasn’t just their horse which was stunningly turned out, everyone was looking at them too – with their sleek shiny hair and cleverly coordinated accessories…

When Colin and Ruth McGrath bought the Queens Head Hotel in Kelso, in 2003, they sponsored a race at the May meeting to announce their new venture to the World.

Like many race sponsors, they presented mementoes to the winning owner (Guy Stevenson), the winning trainer (Mary Reveley) and the winning jockey (Paddy Aspell). But they didn’t want the winning horse to feel left out, so they also gave a sack of carrots to Minster Missile who’d done all the hard work by staying on in the final furlong to beat the Len Lungo trained L’Oiseau by nearly two lengths…

We’re all going to lose a few pounds in 2020. It’s a simple statement – I’m just not sure whether it’s a resolution or a prediction and whether that’s pounds in weight or pounds, shillings and pence…

I am so very lucky. I nearly didn’t check my ‘junk e-mail’ folder over Christmas. And if I hadn’t, I’d never have known that the Federal Government of Nigeria had allocated me a compensation payment of 5.5 million dollars…

Dear Father Christmas, this year I have been very good. Or quite good… sort of. It depends whether you hold racecourse managers to the same moral standard as bishops or something more akin to American presidents, in which case almost anything goes…

Having stayed up late watching the election coverage, I’m flagging. Not flag-waving you understand, because there’s been enough of that on racecourses recently. No, I’m feeling tired – mainly of the discussion about using flags and whistles to prematurely halt races.

Father Christmas knows who’s naughty and who’s nice.

Fortunately, when he attends the Festive Family Raceday at Kelso Racecourse on Sunday he won’t need to waste any time referring to his list – because we only let nice people in.

Following last week’s exciting announcement, about the resurrection of the Tote’s ten to follow competition, it seems that all of the Border Post’s readers have decided to write in at once. I’ve been inundated with messages and fortunately both of you wanted to know the same thing:

If this blog hath offended,
Think but this and all is mended:
That you have but slumber’d here
While these visions did appear.