I’ve received some accolades in my lifetime: a Modern Pentathlon badge in 1982, cross-country team colours in 1987, and a certificate for running the London Marathon in 1996, but not once have I been given a sticker for bravery in the face of a dentist.

While just the thought of a filling is enough to make me cringe and take hold of my jaw, the scene in Marathon Man (an obvious film to pick up if one’s interested in long-distance running), in which Dustin Hoffman is tortured by a drill-happy Laurence Olivier, inspired nightmares for decades.

So, imagine my discomfort when hearing this week’s announcement that archaeologists, at the Russian Academy of Sciences, have discovered evidence of dental treatment being performed by Neanderthals, 59,000 years ago, using stone tools to drill deep into teeth.

Apparently a Neanderthal molar, discovered in Chagryskaya Cave in the Altai Mountains of Siberia, displays signs of having been worked on while its owner was still alive – with advance imaging techniques revealing cavities that bear numerous scrapes and rotational marks consistent with being excavated with a stone implement, possibly made of jasper.

Which led me to wondering, what else could we do with like a hole in the head?

Easy answers might include: yet another protracted political struggle to replace the Prime Minister of Britain, extended coverage of Eurovision Song Contest voting policies, or yet more Affordability Checks for punters seeking to bet on horseracing.

The latter point is particularly relevant because the Gambling Commission is set to meet on Thursday to potentially sign off on the implementation of new Affordability Checks which risk driving customers from regulated bookmakers (who play by the rules) to black market operators (who don’t). The notion of intrusive financial checks has already driven billions of pounds into the black market where customers’ money is not protected and betting operators pay no tax, levy, of fees for using licensed data.

It’s been predicted that the marketing spend of black market operators will surpass that of regulated bookmakers within the next year, diverting funds into crypto markets which could potentially be used for criminal purposes. In the meantime, the Inland Revenue is poorer, horseracing is poorer, and Kelso Racecourse is poorer. And as Kelso is managed with a not-for-profit ethos, investing all surplus funds for the benefit of horseracing and our local community, these new affordability checks will potentially make us all a bit poorer and a little less safe.

If you haven’t yet written to your local MP to express concern about affordability checks, it isn’t too late. In the meantime, if I could suggest some priorities for the weekend, they’d include: investing a small sum (through a UK licensed bookmaker) on Is This For Real in the Novice Handicap Chase at Bangor-on-Dee, secure your Advance Ticket for Kelso’s Ladies Day (taking place next Sunday), and invest in some toothpaste to keep the Neanderthal dentists at bay.