If I were Andy Burnham there’d sadly be no time for the pleasures of Ascot, York, or Chester races this weekend, such is the length of the nation’s To Do list.

Now I don’t have Andy’s long dark lashes, nor his thick eyebrows, and I hail from Kent not Manchester, but even I know that Friday is work-from-home day and is therefore an excuse for everyone to bunk off early. How convenient is it that No.10 North is located in Manchester, Andy’s home city? Firmly located in the southern half of Britain (about two-and-a-half hours drive from the middle of the United Kingdom which is somewhere closer to Hexham Racecourse), Andy’s quick-getaway-office should be known as No.10 Midlands.

Meanwhile, No.10 North could be relocated to Kelso, probably on the ground floor of the Younger Grandstand at the racecourse, where the most urgent issues of the day would be given immediate priority.

(Hold on – just looking for my black T-shirt…)

Right! First things first…

Let’s reverse the proliferation of black-market gambling. The government requires funded solutions for its most important policies, so we need to collect taxes from companies which are actually willing to trade in Britain and pay the increasing levels of tax that we’ve been setting – while preventing leakage to overseas black-market suppliers who prey on legitimate sporting events (like the racing from Ascot where Saturday’s selection is Minnie Hauk), avoiding the payment of rights fees and contributing zero to the exchequer.

As a result of the Gambling Commission’s prohibition-like stance on betting, recent governments have sanctioned Orwellian financial checks on betting customers – which is ironic given the welcome announcement this week regarding the abandoned Big Brother ID card project.

The predictable response of racing fans to affordability checks is not to stop betting on horses, but to bet instead through a VPN server with a bookmaker who doesn’t poke their nose into a customer’s private affairs. The result is millions of pounds of lost revenue to the racing industry and millions of pounds of lost taxation – revenue that could have been used to cut rough sleeping (given that the saving from ID cards turned out to be non-existent).

By working with regulated betting operators in Britain, the government could help to stimulate a sport which brings employment and economic activity to rural areas of Britain which the Labour Party rarely reaches. Truly, the Labour Party could become the government of all regions – not just the metropolitan ones.

And on the subject of stimulating economic activity, perhaps we should consider reversing the increase in Employers’ National Insurance which is currently throttling entrepreneurial spirit across the country. The volume of businesses that are closing, including racehorse training operations, sighting increased employment costs is notable.

There’s serious work to be done at No. 10 North (Kelso branch). But it’s also Friday and time to knock off early… We’ve done our bit for publicans, so it should be safe to head for the pub. Let me just check the mirror one more time… Lashes, eyebrows, T-shirt, smile at the camera, look casual. Cheers!