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The Weekly Blog

Rock Solid

The Stone Age didn’t come to an end because we ran out of rocks.

But by the same token, we didn’t stop using rocks just because the Stone Age came to an end. We might have stopped throwing pointy bits of flint at each other, but we continued to use stone for more constructive purposes – like the new parade ring viewing terraces at Kelso, fashioned out of sandstone from the nearby quarry at Swinton.

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The Weekly Blog

Easter Pilgrims

Just as Parisians will have looked across the night sky on Monday evening and hoped that the bright light in the distance wasn’t really the blazing roof of Notre-Dame, so it is that sometimes we catch a glimpse of a light at the end of the tunnel and hope that it isn’t the headlights of an oncoming train.

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The Weekly Blog

Why the Long Face?

I don’t think Laleh Shahravesh was being complimentary when she responded to a photograph of her ex-husband and his new wife by posting, “You left me for this horse?”

I doubt she was making a comment about his bride’s glossy mane, sleek body or elegant poise. More likely that she was trying to say that his new partner had a big nose, swivelling ears and eyes positioned on the sides of her head.

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The Weekly Blog

The National Shortlist

I know I say it every year, but backing the winner of the Grand National is so easy. Here’s how you compile your shortlist.

Horses with ‘Red’ in their name have a good record – like Red Alligator, Red Rum and Red Marauder. That’s a good sign for Captain Redbeard and maybe even Vieux Lion Rouge…

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The Weekly Blog

Risk Reducing Technology

When I heard that all vehicles sold in Europe from 2022 onwards are set to have speed-limiting technology, my first thought was that I needed to buy a new car by 2021.

My second thought was that my current vehicle, a Landrover Defender, already has speed limiting technology. It’s called the ‘engine’ and it ensures that speed-limits can only be broken in built-up areas; even then, only if the roads are straight and slightly downhill.

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The Weekly Blog

We’ve Seen the Light

They say that necessity is the mother of invention. Which is why, when the ring-pull came off my tin of dog-food, I decided to invent a new can-opener.

Shaped a bit like a log-splitting axe and about the same size as a log-splitting axe, my new can-opener works along similar lines to a log-splitting axe. So when I hit the top of the tin, it opened quite easily…

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The Weekly Blog

Yes Ambassador!

It’s been a week of intense debate. Deadlines have loomed, decisions have been made – some small victories and quite a few defeats. Two shuffles forward, two shuffles back. Now we’ve got to the end of the week and it’s STILL make-your-mind-up time.

What do we want? How much consideration do we need to give to the Irish?

I refer, of course, not to Brexit – but to the Cheltenham Festival…

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The Weekly Blog

Dementia Friends

The weary hand of old-ness is creeping upon my shoulder. I know this because it’s been pointed out to me that when concentrating on an important task, like carrying a coffee cup across the office, I have started to poke my tongue out of the side of my mouth.

Of course young people think this is terribly funny. By ‘young’ I mean anyone who can’t compare the relative merits of Wayward Lad to Desert Orchid, Kauto Star and Best Mate…

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The Weekly Blog

When I’m the Fat Controller

In The Archers, an everyday story of country folk, Home Farm and Brookfield will be sold to competing Arab Sheikhs, while Bridge Farm’s organic pastures will be rented by a National Hunt trainer who takes up residence at Lower Loxley Hall.

Kenton sets up a racing syndicate with the help of the Grundys, Shula becomes a Travelling Head Lass and Alistair could be disqualified from the veterinary profession having been accused of forging the vaccination details on the passport of Linda Snell’s Grand National entry.

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The Weekly Blog

A Two-Horse Race

That’s it. I’ve had enough. I’m leaving the party and becoming independent just like Anna Such-and-such, Thingy Smith and Chuka Um-wotsit.

We staged a two horse race at Kelso last week and there were a few people who didn’t like the result. It was something to do with the fact that the horse everyone assumed would win at the start, wasn’t the same horse that won at the end. Maybe, if we ran the race again, we’d get a different result.

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